Christians and the Challenge of Depression
As I was dealing with depression all my friends and my family would be affected. Some of my friends would purposely avoid me because they didn’t want anything to do with the problem. And some friends would try to help. My Dad would always try to help, but at the same time, I could tell that he was a little down at the same time.
Depression is a mental illness that affects everyone, even those that say it doesn't. Depression can show signs at any point in your life. It affects about 9% of Americans according to the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Canada, Japan, Iran, and Switzerland, share the same symptoms and statistics as the U.S. While depression can affect everyone even in the smallest way, it has been found that depression is diagnosed more frequently and significantly in women than in men. The most common form of depression is Major Depressive Disorder but along with that, there are several other types of depression. Some of the other forms are Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), Depression with Melancholic Features, Depression with Catatonic Features, Atypical Depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), Postpartum Depression, and Depressive Disorder not otherwise Specified (NOS). Major depressive disorder is most commonly referred to as simply "depression." Depression is also often termed "unipolar depression" to differentiate it from bipolar depression. Bipolar depression has the same symptoms as unipolar depression during a depressive episode, but bipolar disorder also contains manic or hypomanic episodes. The chart below shows the percentage of men from 18 and above by race and ethnicity in the United States in 2010-2013. The death of a loved one, loss of a job or the ending of a relationship are difficult experiences for a person to endure. It is normal for feelings of sadness or grief to develop in response to such situations. Those experiencing losses often might describe themselves as being “depressed.” But being sad is not the same as having depression. The grieving process is natural and unique to each individual and shares some of the same features of depression. Both grief and depression may involve intense sadness and withdrawal from usual activities.
There are some way that could help you determine if you yourself have depression or if a loved one has depression. Below is a list of signs that you could use:
- Doesn’t seem to care about anything anymore. Has lost interest in work, sex, hobbies, and other pleasurable activities. Has withdrawn from friends, family, and other social activities.
- Expresses a bleak or negative outlook on life. Is uncharacteristically sad, irritable, short-tempered, critical, or moody; talks about feeling “helpless” or “hopeless.”
- Frequently complains of aches and pains such as headaches, stomach problems, and back pain. Or complains of feeling tired and drained all the time.
- Sleeps less than usual or oversleeps. Has become indecisive, forgetful, disorganized, and “out of it.”
- Eats more or less than usual, and has recently gained or lost weight.
- Drinks more or abuses drugs, including prescription sleeping pills and painkillers.
Family and friends are often the first line of defense in the fight against depression. That’s why it’s important to understand the signs and symptoms of depression. You may notice the problem in a depressed loved one before he or she does, and your influence and concern can motivate that person to seek help.
If you are ever feeling: persistent sad; anxious; “empty” mood; feelings of hopelessness, or pessimism; irritability; feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness; loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities; decreased energy or fatigue; moving or talking more slowly; feeling restless or having trouble sitting still; difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions; difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping; appetite and/or weight changes; thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts; aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical cause and/or that do not ease even with treatment, you could be suffering from depression. Yes, I do know that some of these are felt occasionally throughout your life. They could be caused by a bad dream or a terrible memory and even a traumatic experience. While it's okay to feel these, it's only when they are occurring for most of the day, every day, for about two weeks straight that you may want to seek help. With that being said, not everyone with depression will experience every single one of these symptoms. The severity and frequency of symptoms and how long they last will vary depending on the individual and his or her particular illness. Symptoms may also vary depending on the stage of the illness.
All these symptoms can have a devastating affect in any and all areas of the person’s life. Some of the places that these symptoms can be seen are at school, at home, at work, and even in this person’s other personal relationships. In a family setting, the person who is dealing with depression whether it’s a child, mother, father, a relative, or a spouse, they tend to show a lack of energy, irritability, bursts of anger, and sadness all upset the family dynamic. Children who rely on parents to be stable and responsive either won’t understand or may even think they share some fault. Much like a divorce, children tend to think the problem revolves around them, even though they have nothing to do with it. When it comes to a spouse having to help and be the caregiver to his or her partner, the burden of one will tend to move over to the other. Gradually, this burden can lead to feelings of resentment or generate a “me too” reaction where they begin to demand their share of time and attention. Relatives are affected to the point that they are just involved or just outside observers. When our relatives get involved as a confident or support person, they tend to share the same psychic burdens as a spouse would have. And the reason is much the same: they care about the depressed person and want to fix the problem, even though the problem isn’t “fixable” in any direct way.
The way that depression could affect you and others at work, would be a little different than in a home setting. There is a reason that all corporations big or small focus on having a positive work environment. Having a work environment that is like that can create loyalty and make everyone feel safe. If your coworkers don’t know or understand that you are depressed, the fatigue and inability to enjoy interactions can be misinterpreted as a disappointment in them or the job itself. This is especially so when you are normally a person with “positive energy.”
Depression also has an effect on your spiritual side as well. When someone that is, spiritual and has depression, it can disrupt their relationship with God. A depressed Christian will feel that they have lost the joy of their salvation and that they no longer feel God’s presence. God will seem farther away, silent and unreachable. Prayer requires concentration and the feeling that a loving, caring person is listening to our prayer. Depression makes it hard to concentrate and the low mood makes one feel cut off from God. Prayer then becomes very difficult for the depressed person. When it comes to reading the bible, this also needs concentration that a depressed person just does not have. Worship requires concentration and a sense of hope or celebration. Depressed people can’t concentrate and they have nothing to celebrate. They feel dead inside. So, worship stops too. In some cases, depressed people have started to not attend church. They have felt like they have no connection to anyone and have a hard time making small talk to their Christians.
In my life, I have dealt with loss and me being the victim of a bully. I have been dealing with depression for over 4 years now. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder or MDD. I have been put on an anti-depressant for about 2 years and yes I have been seeing a therapist for these past 4 years. I have lost pretty much everyone before I turned a teen. I had lost all my family and all my friends. Before I even got to start school, I lost my grandfather. Shortly after I lost both of my great aunts. It was after that, that all my cousins started to move away. All my best friends started to drift away from me as well. Later, my grandmother started dying. She was strong, though. She held on till she was 93. I still remember all the things we would do. She would take me to the park every weekend. We would go to the movies. And when my grandfather was still around, the three of us would go down to the river bottoms almost every day with our dog and they would watch me ride my bike all around. Sometimes I would even get the chance to steer the truck. When I was with my aunts, they would try to teach me how to cook. I would always make a mess. I miss them every day.
As for the bullying, that all started around the fourth grade. I had been at Sacramento Country Day for all my school career. One day my dad and I were talking, and we had both decided that I should get held back a year. I did and it turned out to be a bad but also a good decision in the end. It was bad because after I made that decision, I started to get bullied. Every day I would get pick on just because I had decided to redo a year. The years after that just got harder and harder for me. My grades were dropping even more. I had started to not want to do anything with anybody, even with my dad.
As the days went by, the depression had started to get worse and I started to do self-harm and I wouldn’t eat for days sometimes. When I first started to experience all these things I started to get scared and didn’t have any idea what exactly was going on. At this point, I finally decided to get a therapist. When I first went, I was nervous and started to regret the decision. But soon after I realized that it was a good decision. It had finally given me someone that I could tell anything and everything. Seeing this person helped me a lot. He taught me how to manage all these feelings that I had kept inside.
When it comes to dealing, and learning how to manage it, everyone responds to something different. There are plenty of things that you can do to help yourself and there are even things that others can do for you to help. If one of your friends or a family member is dealing with depression, you want to be there for support and encourage them. However, depression can also wear you down if you neglect your own needs. Below are 6 simple guidelines that you should try to follow when trying to help someone:
- Be a compassionate listener rather than giving advice
- Provide whatever assistance the person needs (and is willing to accept)
- Take walks or do other physical activities together
- Take care of yourself so that you are able to stay positive
- Encourage a healthy diet by cooking and eating together
- Learn more by reading the related articles
Depression is a serious but treatable disorder that affects millions of people, from young to old and from all walks of life. It gets in the way of everyday life, causing tremendous pain, hurting not just those suffering from it, but also impacting everyone around them. If there is someone you and they are depressed, you may be experiencing any number of difficult emotions, including helplessness, frustration, anger, fear, guilt, and sadness. It is completely normal to fell these things. It really isn’t easy dealing with a friend or family member’s depression. And if you don’t take care of yourself, it can become overwhelming. One thing to do is to start by learning about depression and how to talk about it with your friend or family member. When you start to reach out, don’t forget to look after your own emotional health. Thinking about your own needs is not an act of selfishness, even though it may seem like that, it is, in fact, a necessity. Your emotional strength will allow you to provide the ongoing support your depressed friend or family member needs.
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